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When are save the dates appropriate? Why would I choose to send them? And, if I do decide on save the dates, how far in advance should I send them?

If you are sending save the date cards, it’s because your wedding is taking place on a holiday weekend or perhaps you have a great number of guests coming from out of town and want to allow them ample time to make arrangements for their transportation and accommodations.

I suggest send save the dates five or six months before the wedding date and the invitation eight weeks before the wedding date.

Wendy Katzen has been an event designer since 1990. Visit www.wendykatzen.com for more information.

Should we tip our wedding vendors? Another couple who are friends of ours reminded us to put tips in our budget, but tipping vendors isn’t something with which we were familiar. If we are inclined to tip them, how much?

Prior to my becoming a wedding planner, I was a professional actress. I have performed in many summer stock and dinner theaters. When performing in dinner theaters, you have the option of waiting tables to make extra money. The first thing I learned about the rules of tipping is that there are none.

I was extremely grateful for that because I was a far better actress (and wedding planner) than I was a waitress. My tips were based on my stage performance rather than my waitressing. So, my advice is:

You are already paying your vendors a handsome salary. Therefore, they should do a perfect job. If you are absolutely blown away, then by all means, tip them. I tell my clients to bring a good deal of cash to the wedding, and I will suggest who should be compensated, as I’ve been working with these vendors all day and/or evening. Many times the obvious do not deserve additional compensation, and the unsung hero that the client never sees most definitley needs recognizing.

Wendy Katzen has been an event designer since 1990. Visit www.wendykatzen.com for more information.

Photography by Nichol Engle Photography

I’ve heard of having two maids of honor before, but my mother and a few others tell me it’s inappropriate. I have two women that are very special to me, my sister and my best friend. Would it be faux pas if I asked both of them to stand up with me at my wedding?

By all means you can have two very special women stand up for you at your wedding. I have planned weddings where the bride or groom has twins as siblings that stood up with them. Just make sure, if choosing a sister and a friend, that your sister is okay with your decision. If your friend is a true friend, she’ll understand either way. The last person you’ll want to slight is your sister.

Wendy Katzen has been an event designer since 1990. Visit www.wendykatzen.com for more information.

Photography by Nichol Engle Photography

If we decide to hire a wedding coordinator, when in the planning process should this occur?

Obviously, I’m biased, but I truly feel that as soon as your date has been chosen, you should start interviewing planners. Choosing your venue, your florist, your photographer, musicians and even your gown will all be easier and perhaps more cost effective if you are working with a wedding planner.

Wendy Katzen has been an event designer since 1990. Visit www.wendykatzen.com for more information.

The kiss between the bride and groom originated in Ancient Rome, where contracts were made binding by being sealed with a kiss. Marriage is a contract of loyalty and commitment to another person, thus requiring a kiss to seal the fate of the bride and groom.

In our research, we found a few other explanations of how the first kiss came to be:

• A suspicious husband in Rome pressed his lips to his wife’s to find out if she’d been drinking wine.
• In Scotland, the pastor had to be the first to kiss the bride. According to tradition, her happiness depended on it.
• One custom says that when the husband kissed the wife, she was obligated to cry. If she didn’t, her married life would be writhed with tears.
• Another belief is that a couple exchanges spirits with their breath and part of each partner’s soul leaves to abide in the other.
• Today, the kiss is a symbolic gesture during the ceremony to seal the matrimonial vows exchanged and to present your oath of faithfulness to one another in front of your loved ones.